Category Archives: Vegan MoFo

Life In The Hole (aka. How I’ve Managed to Become a Nurse)

Hello, dear readers!

Wondering where I ran off to?

Thinking perhaps I ran off and joined the circus out of grief for leaving my nanny job? Maybe I dove face first into a rack of ribs? Or maybe, just maybe, I stole the children and ran away to the circus to wallow in a BBQ sauce vat with them, which causing an amber alert that pans multiple states?

Nothing as simple as that, sadly.

While my job has been over for roughly three weeks at this point, life has been anything but relaxing or food-centric.

WARNING : THIS POST WILL HAVE LITTLE DO WITH FOOD AND MORE TO DO WITH LIFE. TURN BACK NOW!!



Ahem…

 

My last day of work was September 6th.

It was a Friday.

The kids and I spent the day as we usually would, minus a lot of tears on my part. The day before there had been talk on Sophia’s part, of them throwing a party for me. Little did I know, it wasn’t the tea party and pretend cookies I thought.

Bosslady came home, along with Bossman a few minutes later. Knowing I wasn’t done yet, I began to panic. We’re they letting me go early?! ON MY LAST DAY?!?! Panic set it.

Well, moments later, the children came out to the living room and all sat down. Boss lady and boss man joined them and handed me a Star Wars gift bag. Inside was a card, all signed by the kids, a Moes gift card, and various Star Wars toys (mostly Greedo related. They know me well!) Of course, it made me cry. Duh.

The big shocker came when boss lady brought out cupcakes she had picked up from Strong Hearts. I looked at her in disbelief and said “…..Holy shit. You went into the VEGAN cafe?!” She laughed and said yup, and that I should be oh so proud. And of course, I was.

After taking my sweet time eating my cupcake, I knew it was time to go.

Then came the goodbyes.

Let’s just say……it was bad.

Fast forward to me actually getting into my car.

As I’m turning on the car and buckling my seatbelt, everyone comes outside. Another round of hugs and kisses and I force myself to pull out of the driveway. 

The most gut wrenching part? Watching Sophia and Spencer chase me down the street.

I waited until I turned the corner and instantly started hyperventilating as tears just poured down my face.

I’ve experienced many losses in my somewhat short lifespan and that by far was the worst. Out of all of the deaths, injuries, illnesses, and distances, the pain I felt in my heart was the deepest. Driving away, I knew things would never be the same. My relationship with those children will never be the same, and my influence on them will slowly dissipate. As much as I try to rationalize it and talk myself out of loving those kids so deeply that I felt like a parent to them, it never worked. I can’t help but wonder if maybe, five years ago on that fateful day I met them, if only I had just separated myself from my job emotionally, if I would have faired better that day. Then again, on that cold January day in 2009 when boss lady came home from the hospital with a tiny little bundle of screaming, shitting joy, I’m sure I would have let me guard down long enough to fall in love.

Thankfully, my mother was waiting for me at Target. She knew this was going to be hard and she was insistent on me spending the night at her place. We planned a fun day out to a museum the following day and it was a good excuse not to be left home alone.

Well, the following day, we set off on our adventure to Corning Museum of Glass. As usual, mom had be drive. Nothing new. Niki sat in the front with me and mom in the back. The drive was a long one, but a beautiful one through the Finger Lakes and right along wine country.

Upon arriving at Corning, I start to pack my purse with essentials and remove the unnecessary added weight that electronics add. Suddenly, I hear my mom yell my name. I jump out of the car and find my mother on the ground. First though? Okay, she fell. Okay, she dislocated her knee (common). Nothing super serious….until the words “I dislocated my hip or broke it. Call 911.” 

……..

Uhhhhhh…..excuse me, mother?! You what now?

Thankfully, she is a registered nurse and knew what not to do in such a situation and that was UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU MOVE. 

Ambulance comes, Niki and I follow to the hospital, ER visit, X-rays, diagnosis is a broken femur. How do we fix this? Surgery. NOW.

No way could she return to Syracuse (2 hr drive) where she would receive top notch care at one of the four local major hospitals. Oh no, we are stuck in a small town who does even have an Ortho guy, but they have one visit on weekends from Canada.

After a very terrifying night of subpar nurse care (which I reported) and my tough-as-nails mother screaming out in pain frequently (the woman has root canals without pain meds, not to mention the heart attack she sat through and thought nothing of back in 2000), she went into surgery the following day.

A few more days in the hospital, then she was released.

And here we are nearly three weeks later. I haven’t left her side for more then a few hours because honestly, I can’t. I can’t because she needs me to assist in simple things such as bathroom visits, walking the stairs, and making coffee. And while she’s doing way better then most would be in her condition, it’s still a long and grueling process. She gets frustrated because she’s such an independent person that relying on anyone, even her daughter, is embarrassing.

As I told her though, there is nowhere else I would rather be.

So that, my dear readers, is why I have been silent. 

Life keeps shitting on me and the people around me.

Nannying, mom getting hurt, I suppose it all happened for a reason, right?

The entire experience of being a nanny to this family has been a crazy one for sure. One thing I walk away with is knowing that as a person, I have grown leaps and bounds. Knowing that I truly am capable of loving a child with my entire being, willing to die for him, and knowing full well I will never let anything hurt him….well, that’s just remarkable. I never in a million years would have thought I was capable of such a thing. And thanks to this experience, I came to realize I no longer want my own children. Why, you ask? Because as Spencer so graciously puts it……

“All children are born with bombs in their heads, and I control them. I will blow up any new kids you take care off.”

Well played, little man.

 

R.I.P.

Like all good things, this too has come to an end.

Vegan MoFo 2012, I will mourn you.

It’s amazing to see how far MoFo has come since it’s beginning. There are now HUNDREDS of vegan blogs that took part, and thousands mouthwatering dishes that were created. Friends made, new blogs to stalk, and many more delicious dishes in my bookmarks.

Despite having barely participated, it was fun to see all the goings on! I loved getting a small glimpse into the worlds of friends and others and being nosy and jealous of the meals they would create.

To end it all, I leave you with various things I never got around to posting. I hope you enjoy the food pr0n and salivate at the goodness that I have created in my last few days of MoFo.

Roasted Fingerling Potatoes.

Tofu Egg!

Gardein Breakfast Sausage is by far the best faux sausage ever. Sorry, Gimmie Lean!

Tofu with Grape, Olive, and Sundried Tomato Marinade.

Broccoli Risotto!!!! Stellar.

And I’m staring to culture some brown rice to be used to make cheese from Artisan Vegan Cheese!!

 

Hope all of you enjoyed my posts from MoFo, and I hope you all had an amazing Halloween!

xoxo

White Chocolate Making And How I Realized That This Is Bad

A better way to say it is THIS IS GODDAMN HORRIBLE.

I was never a fan of chocolate in my pre-vegan days, especially milk chocolate. It just tasted nasty to me. Back in the day, rather then the milky brown stuff, I went nuts for the white. White chocolate bunnies for Easter, white chocolate covered raisins, white chocolate covered EVERYTHING. It was so delicious and creamy and perfect in every way.

Even after I became vegan, my mother still insisted on buying me white chocolate bunnies for Easter. She would say “Oh, it’s just a little milk!” or “It’s no biggie. Eat it anyway, I won’t tell!”

I had all but given up all hope and reason of ever having white chocolate until a friend mentioned there was a vegan one on Vegan Essentials . WHAT THE HELL! WHY WAS THIS NOT INSTANTLY IN MY BELLY?! Oh, that’s right….SHIPPING. Shipping would have been too expensive and not really worth it for one single item, no matter how many I ordered. What was a white chocolate whore to do?!

Check Amazon for some and pray they have Amazon Prime!!

So once they arrived and I went ape shit insane over them, it got me thinking….. There HAS to be a way to make it myself.

Enter BitterSweet’s recipe!!

Hannah posted her creation four years ago and I’m shocked that I never saw it before!!!

First, I needed to acquire raw cocoa.

I heard this stuff was expensive, but jeeeez! Then again, this is probably enough to make a dozen batches.

It sure is purdy. Anyone know what raw foodists do with this stuff? I tasted it and it reminded me of eating Earth Balance. BARF!

I even busted out my fancy vanilla bean to give it some added color!

More or less, you melt the cocoa in the microwave, add some vanilla and powdered  sugar and whisk.

Once all is well combined, pour it into a chocolate mold and let set . See?! ALL DONE!!

After a few hours of setting and a quick trip in the freezer just to make it super hard…

WHITE CHOCOLATE, I FUCKING LOVE YOUUUU!!

Next time I make this (this evening I think) I will omit the vanilla bean. It made for a gritty, almost chalky crunch. I’ll just stick to the powdered vanilla. Despite that small complaint, it was perfect!! Smooth and creamy, just the right amount of sweetness…. Oh man. I’m never pining over the chips again!

 

Vegan Food Swap

I sure do love me some vegan food swaps. There’s just something about receiving food items from other parts of the country, things that are elusive and can’t be found around me, that makes me giddy!

When I heard about the food swap that The Verdant Life was organizing, I jumped at the chance to join in.

My partner for the October 2012 swap was Kathy, who sent me a truly amazing box.

SEE?! Amazing. The bean chips are a personal favorite and something that I’ve had before. The lentils are being saved until I’m at work and forget to bring food. The macaroons are….gone. Chocolate bar too. And the Lucy’s cookies. The queso, well, that’s being saved until a rainy day.

The wasabi peas on the other hand…. They made me gag. Wasabi and me aren’t friends, but the fella sure did enjoy them! I contemplated bringing them to work and tricking the kids into eating them. I’m THAT kind of nanny.

Thank you, Kathy!

You can expect your package in the next few days!!

Vegan MoFo Day.. WTF

Someone come visit me and yank my sinuses and ear canal out with a rusty hot iron. I can’t take this much more!!

Feeling like shit, along with the stress working 11 days in a row have made for an interesting food regimen.

Quick, easy, and cruddy are the things I’ve been devouring.

I need a cleanse. I need to feel clean again, and I don’t think that will happen until I’m sans sinuses.

I’m keeping the words to a minimum today, since I’m on the verge of crying/having a nervous fucking breakdown. Enjoy the pictures!


Heaven.

 

White Chocolate Raspberry Blondies that decided to be a bitch and not set. Fear not, I ate the delicious goo!

Oh hey, I made a pot roast.

 

Pot Roast with veggies and FF Mushroom Gravy (Yes, it looks gross.)

Why the hell do I constantly make things that are gross looking?!

 

White Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.

 

White Chocolate Chip Coookies in their finished form.

 

Tuna Casserole, an old standby.

 

Burgers and casserole. Drool.

 

 

 

Cheeseburger Pizza. Yeah, that happened.

 

Hopefully in the next few days I will have my spark back, but for right now, I think someone peed on it and it went out.

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