p00p

I’ve been questioned a lot lately about my uh……bowel movements.

Just the other day my mother (a registered nurse) asked me if I was “regular”. She was concerned about my intestinal health because hers is less then perfect. I calmly said to her “Mother, didn’t you take a nutrition class while in nursing school?” She said she had. I asked her how many semesters/weeks it lasted. This is when she informed me “Megan, not semesters. It was a matter of a few weeks.” I was dumbfounded. As I questioned her about the nutrional value of various veggies, grains, and beans, she didn’t know anything. When I asked her about meat and dairy on the other hand, she knew it all. She said her nutrition class mainly told them the awesomeness of dairy products and their ability to reverse osteoperosis and that meat was the main source of protein for the America diet. I laughed at her and told her she should look into a refund for her education.

As a person in the medical profession, wouldn’t you think they would go into depth about diet? Then again, everything can be mixed with proper medication, right?! RIGHT?!

I began schooling her on the ways of the dairy and meat industry, minus the gory details. She Would rather not know and enjoy her cheese (since she has given up MOST meats). She doesn’t want to know so I won’t force her to. That’s how I operate; if you want to know the truth, I’m more then willing to tell you as long as YOU ASK. I will not harass or force you to listen and know the truth. That just isn’t a good way to gain numbers in the vegan community.

Anyway, I informed her that there are a lot of things in my diet that have fiber and that I in no way have problem pooping. To be honest, I “drop the kids at the pool” about five times a day. That’s healthy, right?

She was amazed. Speechless even. I sensed a bit of jealousy as well. Win for Team Vegan!

I know vegan pooping is something that over the years has become more out in the open in our community. To be honest, I had no idea just HOW vocal until the other day. Anyone that knows me knows I am quite vocal when it comes to bodily functions. Its natural and everyone does it so why not?! I felt it only fitting for me to discuss it on here.

On any given day, my poop is green due to the insane amount of greens I ingest. Some days it looks like bird seed. Others, well, it looks normal. But I always poop every time I have to go to the bathroom. Always.

My mother is currently milling over my words as I type. Maybe I gained another vegan follower due to my shit talk? I don’t know. What I do know for certain is I am pooping…….RIGHT NOW.

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4 thoughts on “p00p

  1. ieattrees says:

    Haha- you must have the same “office chair” as my husband…

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