Guilty Of Being An Obese Vegan

*It has taken a lot for me to write this post, so bare with me.*

My name is Megan and I am an obese vegan.

Two words that don’t usually go together. The first word brings to mind a image of a giant blob of a human being, grease dripping from the chin and chowing down on McDonalds for every meal. The second makes associate with grossly thin and sickly looking people who need to be force fed a meat product. Well, I am neither of those ideals.

From a young age, I was skinny and tiny. It wasn’t until puberty hit and I started showing signs of bi-polar and social anxiety disorder. Around age 14, I went on my first anti-depressent and I began to pile on weight. Rather then deal with my problems, I would eat, get stoned, eat some more, and get drunk while eating more. It was a vicious cycle. Not to mention it was around that time that I saw my father regularly. His way of showing love to me was buying me whatever grossly fattening, sugary and salty foods I wanted since at the time, he himself was large and a 2-pack-a-day smoker. He would buy me cigarette’s (at age 15!!) And we would down 20 chicken wings and a pack of smokes in one meal. We were a disgusting pair. Since I was usually in a stoned drunk stupor, I didn’t usually give a shit what went into my body.

Fast forward 8 years.

I was miserable, in a manic stage, dating a guy that had another woman besides myself, drunk, in trouble with the law and suicidal. I was a disgusting mess of a human being and I needed help and guidance fast.
After a two week stint in a psyche center, I was on the road to emotional recovery. Or so I thought.
Mind you at this point, I was still eating my life away. Double quarter pounders with JUST cheese (no veggies. Gross!) and LOTS of cheese. Hell, what did I care?

Then came the life changer that brought everything to my attention.
He died.
And as the story goes, two weeks after he died, I was vegan.

With being vegan, I assumed I would drop the weight! At first, I was the typical new vegan. I ate processed meat substitutes, lots of chips and other package shit. I figured I would drop the weight like that. Well, that didn’t happen. My best friend and I did a short stint in Curves, which helped me drop 20 lbs, but I gained it all back and then some.
I finally got a brain and realized I couldn’t eat the processed junk if I wanted to be healthy. It just wasn’t enough to sit there and abstain from meat. I had to help save the animals while saving myself.

I began to actually enjoy cooking, which i give 100 percent of the credit (and eternal gratitude) to my best friend, Alisha. Prior to meeting her and prior to being vegan, I saw cooking as a chore. An annoying chore. She helped me see how fun and amazing it is to make something from scratch and be proud of it.
This led me to start cooking more healthy foods, which again, I thought would be the miracle weight loss I needed.

I was wrong again.

I have always, ALWAYS had a major problem with portion control. If something is just that good, well, I just don’t want to stop eating it!!! That has always been my main problem. Food is my greatest joy in life.
Not to mention, with going vegan I became engrossed in the awesomeness that is vegan baking. As a cake decorator by trade (for a little while anyway) and a lover of all things sweet, I assumed I would be able to eat as much as I wanted without any horrible side effects. Its void of animal products so why the hell not?!?!


That is the way I have been living for the past two years.

Two years of seeing myself in a blind, vegan haze.

It wasn’t until I saw the pictures from Laura’s wedding last week.

I saw them and cried.

Was I really THAT enormous?! What happened?!?! Dear god, look how lumpy I am!!!!

I had never seen myself in that way before. I assumed that since I felt healthy inside (sort of) that I was that way on the outside.
I was sorely mistaken.
I then took to the scale.

I am 5’2″ and I weigh….
Wait for it……

Wait for it……


The number blew me away. Even thinking about it scares me.
I am equivalent of two of any of my friends.

I noticed from that moment on, I began seeing myself in a different light. I am now self conscious. Going from being a person of high self esteem (or so I thought) to a person who doubts and questions the beauty I once saw….well, it has been a major kick in the ass. I’ve begun to wonder if I ever really did have self esteem or if I just was lying to myself.

Its funny how such a number can make you question your whole life.

So here I sit, on my bed in the hotel, right on Virginia Beach. I can see the ocean as clear as day from where I am.

I guess this vacation was what I needed to get me to think clearly and realize what I need to do.

My lifestyle needs yet another major change.

I NEED to take care of myself now, more then just being vegan. I need to be a HEALTHY VEGAN with SELF-CONTROL.


43 thoughts on “Guilty Of Being An Obese Vegan

  1. jetta vegas says:

    you are so brave and so beautiful. thanks for sharing this story. i am going to go plaster this blog post all over my social networking sites, because i think you can be such an inspiration to so many. (: keep being amazing. xo

  2. Cristy says:

    Ditto, to many of the things in this post.

  3. kala says:

    I know how you feel, seeing the number on the scale can be traumatic. When I was a teenager I was obese, but in my mind I thought I must have weighed 180 at tops. One day I finally stepped on the scale, at school of all places and found out that I had gotten to 265 lbs. I was shocked, freaked out, and ashamed. It took years of work and learning portion control (I’m around 140-145 lbs now but I still struggle with portion control and eating for reasons other than hunger) but I feel so much healthier. But never think that you’re not gorgeous, hot, and sexy just because you’re not teeny tiny!

    • veganwhore says:

      Wow, you can completely relate then. How were you able to drop the high school weight?

      Scales should be burnt.

      • kala says:

        I started out with just trying to eat a little less and walking. At that point I was so out of shape that easy walking was all I could handle. I gradually started eating better and better and then tried other workouts and found out that I liked step aerobics for some weird reason 🙂 These days I use Weight Watchers to keep me on track, they’re shockingly vegan friendly and the site has tons of great recipes. I do it all online (not a meetings kind of girl) and it’s really helped, I’m the kind of person that gains weight almost immediatley if I don’t pay attention to what I’m eating. Keeping track is the number one thing that keeps me at a healthy weight.

  4. bryanxvx says:

    i can relae to your story in many ways, i have been in and out of depression for as long as i can remember and only seeked help a few years ago, i hate the meds i take i hate the way they make me feel. i always feel like i am numb, but i am scared where i will ed up with out them.
    when i started the meds i started gaining weight, i didnt change my eating habits. i didnt eat more then i ate before i didnt eat more often then i ate before, but still i put on the weight. i really need to losr some weight tho, i hate my self for letting my self gain so much weight,

    • veganwhore says:

      Don’t be yourself up so much, Bry. Meds can do that as can depression. Sadly, its one of the “side-effects” of having a jacked up brain chemistry. You can talk to me, dude. Us depressed crazy folk gotta stick together xoxo

  5. Staff Writer says:

    Thanks for sharing! We all have our struggles, it’s how we turn it around that counts. I believe in you, you can do it.

  6. Georgia says:

    I am also an obese vegan, and I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes I don’t even want to tell people I’m a vegan because they look at me incredulously. I also feel like I’m the worst possible person to represent vegan-ness to others, and it makes me feel terrible sometimes. I am 5’4″ and 225 at the moment, but the number that I saw when I had the freakout was 262. That was 3 or so years ago now, and I wasn’t vegan then. I went through the processed food vegan stage and I’m still struggling with you in the “vegan cookies aren’t as bad as regular cookies, so it’s okay if I eat 34 of them” stage. What you should try to realize is, you are already doing something really good for your body (not to mention the animals and the earth) by eliminating all animal products. You only need to tweak how you are doing it. We can still love food, but I guess we need to love it by the forkful rather than by the bowlful 🙂 Congratulations on your breakthrough, and kudos for putting it out there like this in such an inspiring way. But one thing I would beg of you is, don’t lose that self esteem that you had before you made this realization. You are a wonderful, unique and special person, and your weight has nothing to do with so many of the gifts that you can give the world around you.

  7. Anna says:

    I always have felt conspicuous as a vegan being overweight. Like you, I like to eat and portion control is not something that I’m good at at all.

    I have been doing the Vegan Hope plan (I did the Fall Workshop on a scholarship place as I couldn’t afford the fee) and I’ve lost almost 20 lbs. What’s great is that it’s not about eating less, it’s about eating the right things and eating healthily. My tastes have really changed and I enjoy the way I eat. Sure, I still need to work on not stuffing myself so full all the time and then my weightloss would be faster but I’m getting there one step at a time.

    It’s hard to have to fight your weight when you’re reading vegan blogs where the writers are stick thin and eating everything that isn’t nailed down, I always feel it’s so unfair that my body doesn’t burn off food the way theirs seem to, but at the end of the day I am who I am and I’m doing my best…

    Best of luck to you with any changes you make!

  8. found you through jetta, thank you for sharing!

  9. jheberle says:

    Thank you for being so honest. Its not easy to admit that to yourself let alone in an open forum.
    I can relate to your struggle very much. I was a vegetarian for many years while on anti-depressants and packed on many pounds. I thought being a vegetarian meant I was eating healthy but I learned I could still make poor choices. What I realized is I was more of a carbatarian than a vegetarian. A few years back a I went back to eating meat and my health started to go downhill as my weight went up.
    So a few months back I too had that realization that something has to change and have gone back to a vegetarian diet as well as taking up running. But this time I am making better choices and feel like a million bucks. I am contemplating going vegan but right now I am just taking one step at a time.
    Good luck and I know you can be successful.

  10. Jessica says:

    Thanks for sharing your story! Health & wellness comes in ALL sizes, especially when the diet is based on whole plant foods. You are clearly a very strong, intelligent woman, and you WILL make positive strides toward optimum health & get to a weight at which you are comfortable. I hope you get to a place soon where you feel good about how you look (regardless of size). ❤

  11. Kendra says:

    Hi there – I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have not been a strict vegan for very long, but have been a vegetarian for a couple of years now. I’ve had a weight problem since the 6th grade. I read all the stories about people who just drop weight as soon as they turn veg – that is definitely not happening with me. I am an emotional eater – period. Like someone else said, I’m embarassed to tell anyone I am vegan, because I know what they are thinking – “there is no way she is vegan – she must chowdown cheeseburgers and french fries all day long.” It’s a long, hard battle, and I guess no matter how I eat, my weight will always be a struggle.

    You are an amazing person no matter what the scale says, and just by this post, you have helped so many people. 🙂 I hope you keep us posted on your progress.

  12. Bethany Cluff says:

    Your story is heart touching. It is so similar to mine-depressed, overweight, scared…
    At my highest (when I was 13) I weighed 260+. I’ve been bulimic since I was 10, and at 15, I went vegan. I lost a little weight, then became OBSESSED. I stopped eating regularly, I still threw up if I ate too much (mind you, I was eating a raw food diet-“too much” was all in my head. I was STARVING myself). When I wasn’t starving or purging/abusing laxatives, I was binging. My life was in a deep, deep dark hole. I had taken something beautiful and loving (veganism) into something warped and scary.
    Ultimately, my healing was based in love. I started reading Geneen Roth books, and slowly, step-by-step, I started to love myself. And, let me tell you, it was SLOW. Somedays, I would look into the mirror and cry. Others, I would see myself, and actually say (and mean), “Bethany Grace Cluff, you are RADIANT!”
    It’s taken me months to accept myself at my present size (170 lbs.)
    Do I want to weigh 130 again? Hell YES!
    Is it okay if I don’t, or if it takes me longer to get there? Hell yeah it’s ok.
    I am perfect just the way I am, and you are too. Love yourself now, and everything will fall in place.
    These people and thier books/sites rally helped me:
    Kris Carr-Crazy Sexy Cancer
    Phillip McCluskey-Loving Raw
    Geneen Roth-ANY book, but especially “Breaking Free From Compulsive Eating”
    Margaret Cho “Fuck-IT Diet” (just type it into google-hilarious but true)

    Love is what will set you free! (Corny, but true)

  13. veganwhore says:

    Thank you everyone.

    Your stories and wonderful words of encouragement have touched me and given me the strength I needed to realize that YES, I CAN DO THIS.

    Seriously, thank you from the bottom of my chubby lil’ heart xoxoxox

  14. Miau says:

    Oh, I understand you. I am also a vegan. And I am overweight. And the strange thing is that I wasn’t before going vegetarian. At the same time I became really interested in baking. But now I don’t bake as much as I did, I still eat a lot. I have gained twenty kilos after becoming vegetarian.

  15. Elisa says:

    I found your blog while researching the HcG diet! 🙂 Thanks for echoing a lot of what I feel. I’ve been a strict vegetarian for almost 14 years, 5 of them as a vegan. And I’ve ballooned from about 170 to my current 264. Throughout that time I also managed to lose and then regain the same 45-50 lbs. Oh, yeah, and I’m 5’2″. I’m also super embarrassed to tell people I’m vegetarian given my size, but I’m of the mindset now that I just need to get over it and seek medical help. I’ve had a lot of emotional/ stress issues and lifestyle changes in the last few years that have certainly not helped me in my quest to stop the emotional eating. Anyhow, I have an appt with a wellness clinic tomorrow & am determined to change my habits. Good luck to you and thanks for posting! You are certainly not alone! 🙂 Elisa

  16. prattie says:

    I just read your plight. I suggest that ur diet isn’t the problem, you mentioned being bi-polar, I have several friends who needed to find the right mix of medications before the bi-polar bloat would go away, and yes I had a gf actually go under to knife to “fix” the problem, the help I would offer is try talking to your health care professional and explain your diet to them. I myself, am an obese vegan at 5″6″ and a size 16W I stand proud of my womanly curves. In short sister, love who you are and take care of your head first, IM sure the rest will follow suit..kisses

  17. Tara says:

    I was very touched by your story. I just turned vegan a couple of months ago. I am almost 33, 5’9″ tall, and about 128 pounds. I lost 10 pounds when I cut out meat and dairy, however I do not eat processed meat substitutes, I have never eaten tofu in my life, I prefer whole/raw foods, and I can testify that this is why I am able to be thin as a vegan. You are right, you do realise why the weight is being kept on. All you have to do is make water your primary drink, make cooking your own meals at home a regular habit, and find a fun physical activity that you can do at least once a week, that will break a sweat, such as a dance class, biking, hiking, etc., there are other options besides the gym to get physical activity, even taking your dog for a run around the block is a great way to get some exercise. Use whole/fresh foods, straight off the tree or out of the ground, and try to keep them as raw as possible. I have a vegan page on Face Book, please stop by and “Like”!

  18. Stormy says:

    I’m also an obese vegan.
    I’ve had many of those OH MY GOSH THE TIME IS NOW AND I’M GOING TO REALLY DO IT THIS TIME moments…
    Then we go grocery shopping and I’m like LET’S GET OREOS SO DELICIOUS VANILLA ICE CREAM AND SOME
    My husband and I tried weightwatchers w/ my in laws old materials from when she fell off the wagon too.
    I lived in Hawaii for a while and rode my bike 5 miles to work and five miles home… I was still chunky but strong.
    I was in the Army before. Before the depression was something I was willing to acknowledge and get treated… I lost weight because Drill Seargent wouldn’t have it any other way.
    So for me it’s this immobilizing laziness. I’m choosing to be this… Then I’m so darn full of guilt and shame because I’m setting a terrible example for my children. It too is a vicious cycle. I just need to get out of my own way now.

    Thank you for sharing.

  19. makaiookami says:

    Hey I just want to alleviate your guilt. It’s not necessarily you’re fault. Just becoming a Vegan, just decreasing calories, and increasing exercise may not be enough. Your body (as we can understand through science) can lower the caloric efficiency or increase it. Meaning that just because you eat calories doesn’t mean that your body will extract all those calories. That’s why you can have skinny people who eat like crap and you can work hard and still not lose weight.

    Don’t be guilty, don’t beat yourself up, don’t let anyone tell you that it’s all your fault. You’ve been evolving for thousands of years, and it’s the modern lifestyle, genetic disposition, that play a huge role in obesity, and also how the brain sends signals commanding your body to do more or less caloric processing.

    On the Zune or iTunes look for The Healthy Skeptic from Revolution Health Radio. I haven’t been listening to them for long, I’m just getting into them but they said they’re looking at the best information based on the scientific literature from the scientific journals and everything they’ve been saying not only makes sense, but also seems to fit with much if not all of the other research I’ve accumulated throughout the years.

    I’m not finished with the episode. I’m just trying to help you realize that our bodies can be a much bigger influence than our diet. Fact of the matter, becoming hunter gatherers again is just not possible or plausible, not eating meat is just not enough.

    My Obesity is hard to conquer because I have a physical labor job where I’m on my feet 9 hours a day when I work, and it’s the hard work is not enough to facilitate weight loss, and we’re treated so poorly that it’s not conducive to any dietal regimine. Long story short I get to work at 4:00 a.m., i don’t get to sit down for the first time until 8:00 a.m. and by that time I don’t have any energy to resist temptation, I only ahve 30 minutes to eat, I don’t have a lot of healthy options, and I need to fend of the hunger enough to stop feeling like i”m going to pass out and get rid of the light headedness and exercising means that I would be slower at my job and put myself at jeopardy of being fired and since I live in a Right to Work State my rights are next to zilch in that regard.

  20. Hi,
    I have been a lacto-ova vegetarian since 1971 and have gained weight over the years. I have a multi-nodular goiter and the doctor is suppressing the TSH and increasing my synthroid. As a Registered practical Nurse I know that obesity is a multi-faceted problem. I wrote my cookbook called Vegetarian Cooking Today and it is vegan or plant based. I am also a counsellor for emotional problems in North York, Ontario. Keep looking for answers, be patient with yourself and together all of us obese vegetarians will find the remedy. Choose A Lifestyle is the name of my business. We need to be aware of our environment and how it affects weight gain as well. When we take responsibility for our choices we grow emotionally and feel more in control of our lives.

  21. Jan says:

    In my 20’s I spent a year as a vegetarian and I lost a few pounds at first but then the weight came back. In my 30’s I tried Atkins and lost significant weight and it came back when I went off of it. I still follow some of the Atkins philosophy of staying away from sugar, which works to some degree. Every time I start eating lots of sweets and starch my weight increases and every time I get too into animal protein and stop eating raw vegetables my health suffers. I just think everyone’s different. You may need to experiment a lot before you find the best solution for you whatever that is. I’m in my 40’s and still struggling. What I do recommend: prepare your own food from scratch! It’s impossible to control what’s in prepackaged foods and you’ll drive yourself crazy looking at ingredient labels for the one package of food that’s free of sugar, high fructose corn syrup, salt, partially hydrogenated oil or whatever else you might be trying to avoid. I shop at Trader Joe’s and Whole foods and still have trouble with prepackaged food ingredients; it’s really maddening!

  22. T. Lynne Freeman says:

    Glad I stumbled across this article and conversation. I am a recent convert (few years) to Veganism after several failed attempts at Vegetarianism in the past. I was a giant among my peers growing up. I was always very active and family doctors never worried about my weight as I never had high blood pressure or signs of Diabetes. I went to college and dropped about 75 pounds in six months- through burning myself out via classes, work, and exercise. The positive reinforcement resulted in my going too far. I added calorie reduction to my regiment in an attempt to meet the height/weight charts. My family doctor threatened to hospitalize me for Anorexia as my BMI dropped to 11%. I barked to the MD that I was DDD and I weighed in at 175 pounds (I’m 5’6″) at that point. The MD pointed out that it was not healthy to see every bone in a person’s neck when they turned their head- as he was able to see mine. I made a target improvement to slow down, eat more, and relax. The plan worked too well. I gained all the weight back plus. Then, my life fell apart again. My greatest weight was around 345 pounds. That was around three years ago. I made life many life changes including starting exercise regiment again, therapy to treat a Depression I did not know I had, finding the tools to catch myself when I know I am going into a Depression to stop the over-eating, taking control of my life, and deciding what faith I had. I stumbled across the term “Veganism”, realized I was already close (I was always a label checker for animal testing and used my dollar to support companies that followed fair trade and funded environmental causes.), and committed fully to the lifestyle ((I added the removal of ALL animal products from my diet.). I had become a Vegan in the process. was not easy. Process was not easy. I faced the usual ridicule, suspicion, and fear from family and friends. Here is my reason for commenting tonight.

    Thank you! Thank You! Thank You!
    I was doing online shopping and very frustrated with the sizing charts. I was outside the measurements still! I am 255 pounds at this point- steady/varied weight loss since starting to become active again. I am very active. I hike every other weekend, I swim hard laps five days a week, I do stretch exercises nightly, and I am the only gardener for a 1.5 acres property. I have never had high blood pressure or any sign of Diabetes- despite the first leap at any medical professional’s office. I needed some reinforcement that some Vegans are just not those rail thin/model people. Vegans come in all sizes.

    T. Lynne Freeman

  23. I was completely moved by this post and by all of the comments that replied to it. This journey we call life is so hard to understand. It takes so much courage, and honesty with ourselves to be happy. I admire how honest you are and how vulnerable you made yourself so that others could connect to you. It’s amazing how our gifts can sometimes become our curses, and I can see by this post that you have accepted yourself and it’s beautiful. I like the point you made that vegan doesn’t mean you will be stick thin overnight. There’s so many other factors that come into play, and it goes back to our simple relationship with our food and our bodies. I learned a lot from you with this single post, and I want to thank you for sharing. I’m a holistic health coach, and although I was not obese, just over weight, I can relate somewhat. Society & media really messes with our idea of self-image. I’ve been working with different clients of all sizes and talents, helping them achieve their highest potential in health. Health doesn’t mean being a size 0. Health is balance between mind, body and soul. I believe I have a formula that works and if anyone here is interested please don’t hesitate, contact me. You can also just chat with me some. It doesn’t have to be just business. Health and food is something I’m very passionate about and I like building relationships with people that also teach me a thing or two. I currently have some New Years resolution specials. I offer free first time consultations.
    You can follow me at @Eat2live2day

  24. Jeff Ross says:

    Megan, will you be in New York City at some point soon? I’m a PR executive/TV producer here in Manhattan. Thank you

  25. K says:

    I knew lots of seventh day Adventist that were morbidly obese vegans.

  26. Larry says:

    It’s not so much what you eat, although a vegan diet is by far healthier, it’s how much calorie you ingest versus how much you burn.
    it’s that simple.

    I lost a lot of weight and learn by kick starting myself doing the clean program by a. Junger.

    Once I was done with the cleanse i switch to a pescetarian diet with zero process food and I never put a gram back on.

  27. andries says:

    The solution is quite easy. I am also a compulsive over-eating vegan. But I decided to follow the Simple Carbohydrate Diet, i.e. I eat no more granes (pasta, bread, cookies, cake, flower, potatoes, rice, etc.) and no more complex sugars (any sugar other than those found in fruits). If I feel that I start to put on weight, I simply cut down on banana’s and dates and lo and behold, I lose weight however much I stuff myself. I’m not skinny by any means and I never get hungry, but with a BMI of 21 I’m well satisfied with my size.

  28. My wife and I did a couple of things in order to lose weight. We limit ourselves to two meals a day. The first meal is taken around noon in a very expensive Chinese vegan restaurant. We eat moderately, otherwise we would not be able to pay the bill. For dinner, in the afternoon, we eat some toast with vegetable cream. I cannot say that we are skinny, but certainly we are not overweight, and my wife is barely keeping her body contours. We stay away from sugar and simple carbohydrates. Our energy intake is about 1700 kcal a day. We jog 10 km in 40 minutes and that is our quota of exercise. The result: I weight 76 kg (167 pounds) and my height is 1.80m (5 feet, 11 inches), which give me a BMI of 23.5. My wife weights 68 kg for a height of 1.70, which give a BMI of 23.5 too. The main problem of this story is keeping the body contour, in the case of women. Unless you are young (less than 50 years old), I believe that you will need body contour surgery to remove excess of sagging skin. Many female friends needed this kind of surgery after going vegan and losing 40 kg in a period of two years. Happily enough, the case of my wife did not required surgery. She lost weight in a period of 1 year.

  29. Ron says:

    I abstained from grains and noticed after a few weeks that my appetite worked again. Before, I could eat endlessly and I always felt in a haze. I was never really hungry even if u didn’t eat all day, and I was never really full even if I ate a ton.

    Since giving up grains, my appetite and portion control regulates itself. And I still enjoy food a lot. It’s hard as a vegan, because meat, milk, and grains is in everything. But it’s worth a try.

  30. Abs says:

    In high school I was a 5’5, 135 lb vegetarian. Extremely athletic, but didn’t really watch portion control because I was always hungry from swim team or soccer or track. So over eating didn’t bother my weight.

    Fast forward a few years, a few moves (I’m military) and a baby and marriage later and here I am, 5’5 …. 190 lbs.
    Just decided to get back into veganism and SUPER small portions and the weight is slowly coming off. I can still run a 6 minute mile, but I look like a cow! Extra weight on some women looks sexy but definitely not on me!! I’m glad I read this article. I thought I was the only obese vegan 😳
    Good luck veganwhore!

  31. behindthesebrowneyes92 says:

    Omg this is my life in a nutshell. My mom fed me McDonalds and Burger King throughout most of my childhood and adolescence and while I won’t say it was all her doing, I think how you are brought up to look at food plays an important role in how it will affect your eating habits as an adult.

    It took me 24 years to realize that it wasn’t so much what I ate but my eating habits that kept me obese. So before giving up processed foods, I realized I needed to learn portion control with it but then I realized for me I can’t. Refined breads and sugars are addictive and because my body is so used to eating an abundance of it, I have to do the all or nothing approach. Its why I recently decided to go vegan without eating hardly any processed foods. So far, so good but I know I have miles to go before these new habits really take form.

    Good for you for realizing what really was the problem and working on improving it. You have alot of strength and courage and I wish the best in your success to a healthier you! Good luck and thanks for sharing this!

  32. Susan Carruthers says:

    You are amazing! And as an ovese vegetarian I identify strongly with you. Every now and then I get asked how I got so big eating plants. My answer is “elephants ” . Other similarities are we both had a huge parent with a decadent love of excess who died too soon. How is your journey going? Have you found a remedy? If so hopefully it’s a one pill a day and carry on eating type, that’s my unrealistic dream.

  33. Tavi says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot.

  34. Jamie says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. I appreciate you’re transparency. You are pointed the right direction. One step in the right direction will lead to the next and the next.
    Eat food to fuel and heal your body. I struggle not so much with weight, as I do with anxiety and low self esteem. When I went vegan, after a month, my mental state was so improved.i have been vegetarian or for 3 months and have seen great changes on my inner self view.
    Keep on the track of bettering yourself. Anything is possible girl.

  35. Anonymous says:

    I am about 215 pounds and was a vegetarian for 8 years. I tried and tried to lose weight as a vegetarian, but the weight just wouldn’t come off. I’d lose a pound here or there, only to gain it back. I tried everything. I’ve been trying to lose weight for 2 years, but nothing works.
    The problem is, as a vegetarian, I could eat over 2,000 calories and not feel full. Even while eating no junk food.

    The summer between high school and college, I did lose over 25 pounds and went from weighing 160 all the way down to 135 (my lowest weight as an adult). I was vegan at the time. However, it did not stick, mostly due to my overindulgence caused by college stress.

    I don’t think my body does well on such a high-carb diet. Ever since I’ve started being a vegetarian, I’ve had fungal issues, too. I started my vegetarian diet when I was 14, and by the time I graduated high school, I endured through two completely different cases of ringworm and have had other fungal problems since.

    If I hadn’t gotten up to this weight in the first place, things would probably be totally different for me. I had a pretty rough time in my life two winters ago. I never imagined that I would weigh over 200 pounds. My weight is pretty huge on a 5’2″ body. Before I was brave enough to even step on the scale, though, I might’ve weighed over 230.

  36. Laura Richardson says:

    Wow. Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve been having such a rough time of just about everything including my weight. I was actually having a full on anxiety attack when I found your story! And ever time I read about someone going vegan and instantly losing weight I have to laugh I’m sure it happens but not to someone that really really likes food….too much food….for the wrong reasons. I’ve really been working on watching my portions. A dog is a great motivation for walking I’ve had my sweet girl three years now and I’d be twice as big if it wasn’t for her. And thank God for her company. Anyway, just thanks it’s good not to feel alone. Our stories are so similar except for your dad.

  37. Connie Chartrand says:

    I am an obese vegan. I did a Google search of the words “obese vegan” and came across your post. I too have bipolar disorder and social anxiety disorder. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s helpful to know that I’m not alone.

    I’m sad to read you say that you need self-control. I really hope you can love yourself as you are, rather than feeling that you need to change. I mean, yes, trying to be healthier is always a good thing. But when you say you need more self-control, it sounds like you’re beating yourself up. I think you deserve to give yourself a break.

    Personally, I’m addicted to food. I’ve had problems with my weight even during periods when my compulsive overeating was in remission, but now that I can’t stop eating, obviously this is causing me to put on more weight. I wish I had self-control but I don’t. Where does one find some of that?

    I see that you posted this in 2010. I hope your life is happier today. 🙂


  38. I am an Obese Vegetarian. Obese was never something I considered myself in the past, but I have recently confirmed that I have a BMI of over 30. Much of this story describes me. I was really skinny throughout my teen years. I was on medication for ADHD, which didn’t allow me much of an appetite during the day, but as soon as it wore off I was starving. I didn’t realize at the time, that the birth control I’d been taking (at 16), did give me a weight increase. I didn’t care because I was so skinny before, there were people who believed I was anorexic.

    However, I stopped taking it for some years, and picked it back up at around 21 (2010). I was still between a size 7-9 in Juniors at the time, and I ended up switching birth control pills three times. I kept having side effects of constant hunger and like..quick to flip out or get angry. My best friend that I was rooming with in my dorm, finally told me I need to stop taking them because I was a b*****. I stopped taking them and had not noticed the weight gain until then. I was only a size 10 in Juniors, but I had noticed a definite change and felt huge at the time (which I could go back to that lol). My friends were bigger than me so they told me I was being stupid basically. My natural weight is about 125lbs. At that point I was about 150.

    Two years later, I became a Vegetarian, for the second time (first time lasted a couple days). I quit cold turkey because I technically never wanted to eat animals, but I did not know what I was doing and thought that my research I had done since the first time would make me more prepared. I started with just cutting meat from my diet, then I started reading labels. I consider myself a Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian because it’s hard for me to find products where I live without eggs and cows milk. Also, I have a hard time getting protein. It has now been 4.5 years since I stopped eating meat, and like Megan, I was not making food from scratch. I still eat the processed foods like MorningStar and Gardein. I am 5′ 2″ and between 205 and 210lbs.

    It keeps changing. I was 220. This is the largest I’ve ever been, I hate taking full body pics and I have lost much esteem myself. Also, I’ve had this issue since my teen years, where if I wait too long to eat, I start feeling sick. Then my hands start to shake, and then the nausea comes. However, the time frame for that has decreased. If I eat breakfast between 7:30-8am, I’m starving by 11-11:30am. I have to eat a snack (I eat pb crackers to hold me over until lunch). I take lunch between 12:30-3pm. When I get off work at 5pm, I’m starving again. And the symptoms are worse. I attempted to start testing my blood sugar daily. But I found that although I start getting the symptoms when my blood sugar decreases, it doesn’t reach the range of Hypoglycemia.

    I had the same mindset as Megan for a while, with the fact that I’m eating better (as a vegetarian), I felt healthier. But my photos taken by others say otherwise. I was also never good at cooking at all. It’s not just that I’m lazy to do it. My food didn’t use to come out too good. Even when I followed recipes to the T. I recently started making a vegetable soup, but I’m sure it’s no where near what most people consider “from scratch”. I mean I use Swansons Veggie Broth.

    But it seems like I can’t lose weight by eating regular food. I started the Herbalife shakes some months ago (because it helped me lost weight some years ago). It took me three months to loose ten lbs. Then I discovered these Premier Protein shakes with 30g of protein and switched. I’ve been drinking those twice per day – five days per week. I did see a 5lb weight decrease. But then I ran out and was eating my soup for the week and gained the 5lbs back. I don’t know what to do. I’m lost. I don’t exercise much, but I used to kill myself everyday with no change. I even took up Pilates for a semester. That did not change my weight. I don’t know what to do y’all. I feel like eating period is making me gain. But of course not eating much also makes you gain. I used to be able to eat an entire pizza pie as a teen, and not gain anything, and now people think it’s a joke when I say I eat a piece of lettuce and gain five lbs. This is crazy. Does anyone have any suggestions?

  39. tigerbody says:

    Did you ever get better?

  40. skiddlydopop says:

    try eating less then 1200 calories a day if you don’t exercise. more water, less food, less excuses and delusions. your first call to attention was seriously a picture of your body image too? kinda vain, narcisstic. you don’t need to lose weight bitch you need jesus

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