Irrational Garbage and Why I Should Just Be Alone.

Is it irrational of me to break up with my boyfriend of a year just because he doesn’t ever want to have children?

It’s no secret that I have always wanted kids. I’m a NANNY. I don’t want to be taking care of other peoples children for the rest of my life. My ideal life situation is to be a stay at home mom, cooking and cleaning all day while home schooling my spawn. The typical 1950’s idea of a perfect life for a woman. No lie. I’ve always dreamed of this.

I don’t believe in marriage which is a giant relief for most men, since most men are pussies who are frightened of commitment. So am I, so it works out wonderfully.

But the kid thing…….
That isn’t negotiable.
A deal breaker, if you would.

I entered my current relationship with the thought of if he is crazy enough about me, he will want me to be happy and I will be able to change his mind about having children someday. I’m slowly coming to the realization that I will never ever change his mind, just like I will never change my own. I don’t believe in tricking him into something he doesn’t want because I know that would cause a lot of distrust and anger among all parties. Plus, I’m not that type of girl.

This is my own fault. I knew from the beginning he didn’t want kids or marriage. I, like most (if not all) women, thought I could change his ideals with my stunning good looks and wit and charm. Its looking as if that isn’t enough.

So it boils down to this :

Do I want children so terribly that I am willing to break mine and his heart? Is it worth me throwing the happiest year of my life for the possibility of me never finding someone that wants what I want? Am I being irrational and stupid for even considering this?

Maybe I should be the one to change and to just accept the good that I have in my life. Maybe I should just come to the realization I am destined to take care of everyone elses children for the rest of my life.

Shut up and be happy with what you have, Megan.

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6 thoughts on “Irrational Garbage and Why I Should Just Be Alone.

  1. Julia says:

    When you get to a certain point in life, it mostly comes down to this: do you want to have kids or not? If one person really wants to have kids, and the other does not, it is in the best interest of both to part ways. I know it is hard, but, it is something that cannot easily be changed. It is not a matter of whether or not you love each other, it is completely different. If you really want to have kids and your partner does not, it is not fair to either of you to stay together.

  2. MattTheVegan says:

    Can’t ever change people. Harder you try the further you push them away from what you want them to be.

    Would you be happy with just him? Or would the whole kid thing make you happier than he does? Assuming you found someone to have said kid(s) with who also made you presumably happy in some way.

    Are you just now dealing with the reality of the situation? Because it sounds like you both knew in the beginning what you wanted and didn’t. For me it’s like dating someone who isn’t at least vegetarian – I can’t do it. I’ve tried and thought it wouldn’t be a problem, but it is.

    I feel like my calling in life is to be a counselor/therapist for eating disorders. I already know that I would choose that career and activism that comes along with it over any relationship if I had to choose between one or the other. Thankfully that’s not such a hard compromise.

    Good luck!

  3. Andrea says:

    Dear MeganFace,

    DON’T EVER FUCKING SETTLE. If you feel like you’re settling, than it’s not.okay.

    Love,
    Dermie.

  4. Cristy says:

    Most likely if you make a (big) decision based on someone else and it goes against what you want, you will end up resenting that person. Eventually.

    And who’s to say you can’t have kids on your own? Would that be an option?

  5. Suzi says:

    You’ll find someone wonderful who wants the same things as you. I’m sure this guy is great, but if you think that he is not material for the long haul and the kids that you see in the future, then it’s probably time to call it.

  6. veganwhore says:

    Thank you, everyone.

    This is one of the toughest decisions I have ever encountered. On one hand, I love him more then I have ever loved another human being. On the other hand, this is something I have wanted my whole life and am not willing to compromise on.

    I suppose I have a lot of thinking to do and A LOT of amazing advice to consider as well.

    I adore all of you.

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