TWINK.

I have a confession kids.

It’s a deep dark secret that only my closest friends know (and half of Twitter).

As ashamed as I am to reveal this, I find it necessary if I am to dedicate an entire blog post to Twinkies.

Ahem….

I HATE ICING.

Yup, I might be the only baker/cake decorator on the planet that hates the stuff. Horrible, I know. I’ve lived with the guilt for so long that it’s simply eaten away at me. In it’s place is a oil slick.

There’s something about the idea of icing being mostly butter and shortening that gives me the creeps. Not to mention the oil slick it leaves it your mouth after your done eating it. Trust me, it ALWAYS leaves that feeling. ALWAYS.

Now that that is off my chest, I will continue with the Twinkies.

So I purchased a LivingSocial for a restaurant supply store here in Syracuse that was $25 for $50 worth of stuff. I had never been and I figured this was reason enough. Well, walking in was like being a kid in a candy store. I touched everything and gawked and drooled and yearned to own it all. I told the fella after I touched each item that I MUST have it in the future (not sure what I would do with a meat tenderizer, but it was like a staple gun!) and that he was to never ever bring me back when I had a substantial amount of money to blow.

After wandering for a hour, I finally decided on what to buy. A Canoe Boat pan, a marinade injector, ravioli stamp, and a Silpat. I had been lusting over a Silpat for quite some time and I had no excuse not to buy one. As for the Twinkie pan, I had always wanted to tackle the world of vegan twinkies.

Well, the only recipe I was able to find in any of my cookbooks was from Veganize This!

The cake itself was tasty. I tried those as soon as they came out of the pan, and OOPSIE, one broke. Well, we can’t manage to fill that with gooey icing/cream stuff, now can we?!

After they cooled enough to be filled, I made the icing. The icing had called for Rice Mellow but I didn’t have any on hand. I thought that maybe some silken tofu and vanilla blended smooth would work? Yeah, no. As soon as the blender was done whipping it all together, the tofu and fats began to separate. Despite this separation, I shoved my hand in it and took one for the team. It tasted EH, but left that oh so familiar oil slick feeling in my mouth. I wanted to fill my mouth with dish soap. (Seventh Generation makes THE BEST natural dish soap out there. It kills the oil/grease almost instantly when added to scalding hot water. I know this from experience.)

After all was said and done, I managed to fill all of the Twinkies without feeling like I was covered in a inch of pure grease. BUT, I didn’t eat them. Not one. I just couldn’t bring myself to shove them in my cake hole.

The fella sure did enjoy them though!

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4 thoughts on “TWINK.

  1. sarah says:

    Hi there…I just read about your Twinkie/Icing debacle *of which I fully understand* and then after I read your blog, I happend to hop on over to Isa’s which had a wouldn’t you know it…recipe for cool-whip which I figured would make an awesome stand in. Hope this helps!
    http://www.theppk.com/2011/04/rad-whip/

  2. kala says:

    I wish I didn’t love frosting so much, I’ve been known to eat the frosting off of cupcakes and then put the cake part back in the fridge 🙂

  3. Amy says:

    I have made the vegan twinkie recipe and it’s VERY good! 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your shopping experience! I love walking down the restaurant supply aisles and imagine what I cook up in a 10 gallon pot ~

  4. Jared says:

    vegan twinkies?!
    whaaaaaat.
    wanttttttttttt.
    i love icing though!

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