Category Archives: F00DZ

The Great Cheesecake Conundrum

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Take a look at this disaster. A good, long look.

Now, please explain to me what the hell I did wrong.

This disaster came from The New Chicago Diner Cookbook . Yes, I followed the directions. Yes, I reread them over and over. Yes, I am still puzzled as to how the oil completely separated and floated to the top, leaving a mass of cream cheese at the bottom.

I have to say, I stood there for a few moments watching the bubbles come to the surface and pop at the top of the oil layer. I wondered to myself ” Can this be saved? Can I get past the fact that my worst enemy is staring at me, taunting me with its greasy nastiness?” The answer is FUCK NO!

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In other news, I made Pretzel Dogs of the Dead from Bake & Destroy !

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So. Good. And relatively easy to make, which is good since these were breakfast one morning. The fella works twelve hour shifts and arrives home around 7am. When he gets home, he’s starving so quick and easy is ideal.

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Fur Babies and Reubens

Oh, hi! Hey!

New things in my life include:

  • Mother to two of the cutest fur babies I have ever laid eyes on. A male, whose name is Obi and a female who we affectionately call Crumb. They enjoy biting each other in the privates and jumping in the air and doing back flips. Oh, and causing me to frog my knitting.
  • Knitting. Yes, I am obsessed with it once again. Though tonight, while trying to make the fella a Cthulhu hat, I may have nearly thrown it while telling him to go fuck himself. Why? Because I missed a stitch in my color chart. Cthulhu was laughing at me, I swear.
  • Christmas came and went and I am now the proud owner of a Canon Rebel T3i. Remember all my bitching about having a shoddy camera that couldn’t take a solid picture to save it’s life? well, problem solved.

And this is where you all simultaneously yell at me :


Well, I’m hoping I will now that I have an excuse to take pictures and cook things and post beautiful pictures of all of the various children in my life (including Alisha’s child whom I am visiting in a month, Chris, and of course, Spencer and the rest of his siblings.)

I will warn you all now, this blog may become a giant clusterfuck of babies/knitting/food/CATS.

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One of the many new cookbooks I’ve received in the past few months was the newest title from The Chicago Diner. On the front cover in all it’s glory, was the Reuben. Well, I HAD TO MAKE IT.

After two pounds of seitan marinated in my fridge for three days, today was the day I tackled it.

For the record, I had no idea that Thousand Island Dressing was a mayo base. Had I known, I might never have made this.

Don’t mind my crummy pictures. I have no idea how to use my camera properly (just yet), but plan on spending the next week getting to know it. Intimately.

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FUR BABIES! Obi is the submissive one in this picture. When we took him to the vet a few weeks ago, they said he has a heart murmur. I blame that for his lameness in this picture. Crumb is the one sitting up, and what you don’t see it moments later, she full on lunged and bit his neck. She’s a whore.

So I know this is sort of jumbled but hey, they went and changed everything in my WordPress and I’m pretty confused by it all. This must be how old people feel like when old people try to Google stuff.




I’m now 28, going on 13.

I absolutely do NOT feel 28 and the idea of that number terrifies me. It wasn’t until this year that my age truly started getting to me.

In a few short months, I will no longer be employed with the family. Spencer will be in school full time come September and having me around just won’t make sense. I knew this day would come and the kids would “outgrow” me. I never lived in the idea that I’d be with Spencer forever…. (or maybe I did..), and turn 28 has made me realize I might now need to secure a REAL job. I won’t allow myself to take care of another family. After the closeness I’ve developed with these kids, there’s no way I could do it again.


I’m 28 years old.

For my birthday meal, my mother took Niki and I to Rochester for a lunch! Thanks to a coworker of my mother’s, we found ourselves at The Owl House.

We didn’t realize until we arrived and started placing our order that they ere only serving brunch. Brunch has its own different menu and of course, everything we had looked at and oogled over was part of their regular menu.

I was super stoked about what the menu said we’re vegan mozzarella sticks and when I placed the order, the girl said they had just run out. Come again?! I should have told her to get back there and make them from scratch because its my goddamn birthday! Surely that would have meant we would be on saliva watch with all of our food… Maybe it would have been worth it?
The waitress suggested that we try Ciggarello’s. Sure, why the hell not! Bitch already let me down once so could these honestly be any worse?!


See what I did there? I made up a long word. Weee!
They were amazing. Truly something created by the gods.
What I can only describe as a egg roll sort of wrapped shoved full of seitan, buffalo sauce and I believe a cheese sauce of something sort, then fried.
Fat vegan kids fucking dream!!!

And how could those glorious appetizers be topped, you ask?!

I present you with…



By this point, I think I told our waitress I loved her multiple times. She was rather beautiful…but that’s not the point! She brought me delicious food so my heart was hers!!

What sort of meal is complete (especially a birthday meal!) without someone so sickeningly sweet that I felt like I was in a sugar coma the entire ride home?!





Best things I have ever had in my mouth.

After I basked in the glow of deliciousness, we went to Trader Joes where I carted home way too much Chorizo and Hummas.

The End.

Phoney Baloney’s Coconut Bacon



Every person on this planet enjoys the flavor of bacon. Maybe not the texture or the cruelty it represents, but the flavor is something that most people crave. That smokey, salty, crunchy goodness. After all  there is a good reason why there are so many recipes and products on the market for faux versions of the stuff.

Phoney Baloney’s may have mastered the art of coconut bacon.

I may be slightly biased since the creator of Phoney Baloney happens to be the boyfriend of my soul mate. Biased or not, the shit is delicious.

Don’t believe me? The fella was eating it by the handfuls this morning.

Along with the three bags we received (I told the fella he was donating to IndieGoGo whether he liked it or not….and he did….and didn’t complain one bit!), there was a sample of Ration’s, Kyle’s scramble seasoning. Thanks to Kyle, we knew what we would have for breakfast.

Of course, I sprinkled bacon on it. Why the hell not?! Bacon is good on everything.

The sample was just enough to flavor the tofu itself. It definitely wasn’t enough for the pound of carrots, shitakes, and broccoli I added in. Despite the flavor being VERY sporadic  it was delicious! Being someone who is making scramble 2+ times a week, I know my scramble!! This definitely surpasses my previous spice recipe.

As for the bacon, well…..

What better way then to make a BLT with Guacamole on Ezekiel Bread?!

Honestly, I’m not the best reviewer but needless to say by the few reviews I have on here, when I do review something it’s because it’s the fucking bee’s knee’s.

Go buy this stuff. Help out a small business because this one honestly deserves it.

And it will help put food in Andrea and puppies faces.


Isa, this entry might turn into a love letter to you. If it does, so be it.

Anyone who is vegan and has a pulse knows who Isa is. She is one of the first to make it big in the vegan cookbook world and one of my first vegan crushes. Her and Terry have mastered the art of writing a good cookbook and formulating the perfect recipes that make you want to make over and over, while at the same time doscovering new things that would make any meat eater think twice about shoving dead carcass into their face holes.

Lately, I’ve been using Appetite for Reduction ALOT. Trying to limit my portions and regain some control over my eating habits, AFR is a godsend.

The other day, one of the things I was more petrified of trying was the Zucchini, Black Bean and Olive Tacos. The fella told me to just shut up and make them after I told him my fears and so on. Most of all, I was scared for him. He LOATHES any and all squash things. Texture thing.

So we took the plunge and made them one night.


Isa, I love you.

These were amazing and the fella agreed. He even requested them again. Shocker!

There hasn’t been one thing in this book that has been a fail and hasn’t made it to the daily rotation of recipes in my house.
And I know I reviewed the book prior, I believe around the time it came out, but now I sing more of its praises.

-End Rant-


And to end this entry? green smoothie!

Every morning I drink one, or try to. I notice on days I do, I don’t constantly reach for snacks when I’m bored!